Wading into shark-infested waters
My first blog post. How yuppie of me.
Basically, the reason I am even doing this is to give myself a reason to write. And to talk about movies, books, TV shows, celebrities, YouTube, things I love, things I hate, and all that jazz. At the end of the day, I’d like to look back on this blog as a digital scrapbook of sorts and see exactly what I was thinking about when I was a fresh-faced 21 year old heading into her last four months of higher education and onward into the “real world.”
Now on to something really important: SHARK WEEK.
The first thing anyone should know about me is that I have a severe fear of sea-life, particularly whales (I blame the nut-job who thought Pinocchio was a good idea). And when I say fear, I mean I literally cannot look at a picture of a killer whale without having some kind of anxiety attack. As anyone would imagine, a trip to Sea World is pretty much cardiac arrest waiting to happen.
But for some beyond ridiculous reason, I. Love. Sharks. I would never jump into a cage and throw chum in a Great White’s face, but I am still fascinated by sharks. (But let’s be real, no one gives a shit about any shark besides a Great White. I don’t want to see some lame ole lemon shark bite some stupid surfer. Bring on the big boys.)
So in celebration of this impending shark week, myself and two accomplices have come up with a rough version of a “Shark Week Drinking Game.” This is very much still in the process of being tweaked but I thought I’d share some brainstorm.
Take a drink for every amputee
Did you know a shark’s eyes roll back during attack? Every time an expert shares this information: Blindly choose one of the four shots lined up in front of you.
Drink for every “But sharks rarely attack humans” disclaimer preceding or following footage of a human shark attack.
Take a drink every time a shark rams a shark cage
Take a drink at the mention of Australia or South Africa
WATERFALL during slow-motion shark jump footage
Take a drink in memory of every dead sea lion
Take a celebratory drink for the courageous sea lion who survived a swim to the shore in shark-infested waters
Take a drink for every corny “CHOMP” soundbite
One drink for every shark leap
Two drinks for a shark leap that results in a dead seal or bird.
Finish your drink if a shark leap ends up on a boat.
Still hashing out the details, but a decent start. I will be drunk every night next week. (In the name of marine science, of course)
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